Into the Vanessaverse

It was difficult for Agent and Vanessa to perform each other’s hobbies as a showing of mutual understanding. Vanessa’s limited understanding of mortal technology and a lack of patience for comic books that did not double as erotic fiction were her own undoing. Meanwhile, Vanessa’s hobbies—transforming others, utilizing the powers cosmic, occasionally messing with reality itself—were naturally far and beyond Agent’s limited moveset. It was a difficult middle-ground.

Eventually Agent had found a compromise and decided to pull out an older video game console. He handed the controller to a baffled Vanessa, then patiently pointed to it.

“Two buttons and one d-pad,” he said. “We’ll start simple here. The A button jumps, the B button lets you run if you hold it down, and the d-pad moves you.”

“This all seems rather complicated,” Vanessa remarked, without any irony. It was true. All-powerful as she was, modern tech simply escaped her. Their attempt at teaching Vanessa about computers was still a memory that Vanessa locked away and Agent still had trauma over.

“That’s fine, you’ll learn better when you’re actually playing,” Agent offered. “Learning while doing, you know.”

“Alright…” Vanessa said. Hesitantly, she held the controller in between her fingers like a sandwich, and Agent booted up the game.

“Alright, you’re in,” Agent smiled and gave a thumbs-up. “Just move to the right and jump on or over the enemies.”

Vanessa, nervous, started to slowly do so. It was clear this was incredibly uncomfortable for her, and it reflected on her game’s avatar; it moved slowly, jumped occasionally, and then died on the very first enemy.

“That’s okay, you’re still learning,” Agent offered. “Just try again.”

Vanessa grumbled lightly, but nevertheless tried once more. Again, she walked forward, and this time she even jumped over the first enemy herself. She was proud…until she walked directly into the second.

At this, Vanessa tossed the controller to the ground and stood up angrily, with Agent barely catching the tossed object. “This is impossible!” she shouted. “How is anyone supposed to do this?”

“Deep breaths,” Agent instructed. He patted Vanessa’s shoulder in sympathy until she began to inhale and exhale, calming herself. “Think of happy things.”

Vanessa sighed, sitting back down in defeat. “Sorry, it’s just…” she started. “I’m just so awesome at everything else. I don’t like to think that there’s things I can’t do.”

“Maybe we just need to consider a different way of teaching you the joys of videogames?” Agent suggested. He was hesitant to drop the idea, in part for his hopes of having a fellow enthusiast around, and in part because the longer Vanessa was distracted, the less chance he would be turned into something for her amusement. It would be a win-win if he could pull it off.

Suddenly, he had an idea.

“I think I know a way for you to enjoy gaming,” Agent suggested. “We just need to prepare to have a new friend over, is all.”

“Oh?” Vanessa perked up. A new guest in her manor? Always delightful to see how they acted around an aspiring goddess. And if they were hot, even better. “Then just call them.”

“First I’ll need you to set up the pipes,” Agent said. “Maybe just create a new one that’s large enough to fit through.”

Deciding not to do that, Vanessa instead slammed her hands into the floor. The wood splintered around her arms as she rustled around under the surface. There was a loud groaning sound, a wrenching of metal, and then she pulled herself up. Another smashing of wood, and a pipe was turned upwards towards the ceiling, with the faint sound of running water underneath it.

Agent watched all this with wide eyes. “I am a bit disturbed about how ready you were to do all that,” he said. “I-It’s fine, it’s fine. I’ll give her a call.”

He pulled out his phone, then started dialing a number. He waited for the dial tone to finish, then he could hear the other line answer.

“Hey, it’s me,” he said. “Listen, I need a favor. I’m trying to teach Vanessa about video games.” Someone sounded very excited on the other end. “Yes, and we need you to reach out to her. Can you do that?” More excitement. “Awesome, we already set up the pipe. Come on over.”

He hung up. Vanessa tilted her head. “So while breaking the pipe was fun, I don’t see how that’ll help bring her over,” she said. Agent merely held a finger, encouraging her to wait.

A few seconds later, and the pipe shared some activity. Something was coming out of it, sliding upwards and standing atop it like it was an elevator. Then she jumped off, posing dramatically. “Ta-da!” she called.

Vanessa could finally get a good look at their new houseguest, and she was amazed. It was a purple rabbit, cheerful and energetic, with a smile on her face and a joystick on her shirt. Though that wasn’t the most striking part of her, she noted.

This rabbit had no arms, she realized. No limbs to assist with grabbing…and yet, she did all the same. Her hair, massive twin pigtails specifically, had moved independently and acted as makeshift arms. It was fascinating on its face.

“And how’s my favorite player two?” the rabbit asked Agent, giving the nerd a hug with her hair. Agent returned the favor briefly.

“Pretty good, Joy,” Agent smiled. “This is Vanessa. I was hoping you could teach her about games.”

“Ooh, a new player!” Joy was very excited to share her love of the medium with a new friend, and happily extended a pigtail towards Vanessa, which the witch gently took in a handshake. “I’m Joy Stik, but just call me Joy! So you’re my new student?”

“Evidently so,” Vanessa nodded.

Joy seemed satisfied. “Alright, let’s get started,” she said. “You see, when a mommy computer and a daddy computer love each other very much—”

“I meant how to enjoy games, not where they come from,” Agent interrupted, while covering his ears. “You know, speaking to her language and opening up her vision.”

“Ahh, gotcha,” Joy nodded. She sat next to Vanessa, leaning against her. “So what’s the trouble exactly?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to try it,” Vanessa explained, looking to her hands. “But this is something beyond my control. These fingers of mine aren’t used to pressing buttons to make things happen; they’re used to making things happen directly.”

Joy listened intently, inspecting the controller on the floor. “You had her play a retro game?” she asked Agent.

Agent nodded. “I figured that’s the simplest game I could find that wasn’t Pong,” he explained.

“See, that’s the problem,” Joy said. “Those retro games are cool, but they’re not great for the modern beginner. You have to find something more accessible. Maybe an adventure game?”

Vanessa’s ears perked up. “Adventure?”

“Oh yeah, there’s all sorts of things,” Joy was grinning. “Loads of adventures! I think you’d do well with a fantasy adventure, one with some customization and exploration. A smooth difficulty curve. It’ll really level up your life.”

“So you had an idea then?” Agent asked, uncertain. “What game should she play?”

“Allow me to craft one,” Joy said. “Oh, but first…We really should fix those pipes.”

She stood up, having noticed the leaking water from the lower plumbing, which has then pooled enough to be noticeable. She concentrated hard, her hair tingling and glowing. Then she struck the exposed pipe, and it turned tiny and floated in the air, before floating to Joy.

Even Agent was shocked, and Vanessa was amazed. “What was that?” she asked.

“Video game powers,” Joy was grinning again. “All thanks to my fiber-optic hair, you know!”

She scrolled through her inventory, setting the pipe where it belonged. Then she took out a bucket, collecting the exposed water; the rest dissipated shortly after. Finally, she placed some new wood against the floor to cover up the hole. “Good as new.”

“Such immaculate work…” Vanessa had to stumble over and stoop over the wood she had put down. Beyond them being low-rez, they otherwise functioned as regular wood. “It even matches my own flooring. And you said this was video game magic?”

“Well, not sure if it’s ‘magic’ exactly,” Joy said. “But I can bring life to video games, and bring video games to life. It’s pretty cool.”

“Uh, ix-nay on the ower-pay,” Agent said, suddenly nervous. “Let’s…Let’s just focus on finding an outlet for her.”

Vanessa pinched the air, and Agent felt his lips shutting by themselves. He patted his mouth, tugging at his jaw, but it wouldn’t budge. The witch, meanwhile, twisted herself around to lay forwards in a seductive pose towards Joy specifically.

“Keep talkin’,” she said, interested.

“So I can give people power-ups or extra lives in reality,” Joy continued. “Or I can make reality follow video game logic, like how I just fixed your plumbing.” She tapped her chin briefly. “Of course, it goes both ways too. I can put things into video games as well.”

Vanessa immediately glanced at a defeated Agent, smirking. “I think you and I will be great friends, darling,” she said to Joy. “Could you demonstrate by putting my sweet little dork into a game?”

“Sure thing!” Joy agreed. “In fact…”

Vanessa released her pinch, and Agent could breathe once more; he gasped out loud, just before Joy’s hair wrapped around his body. He then sighed.

“Yeah, I brought this on myself,” he admitted. “Alright, do what you have to do, I guess.”

“Don’t worry, this won’t hurt,” Joy smiled. “And if it somehow does, well, that’s what the extra lives are for.”

She started to constrict Agent, the hair enveloping his entire body from head to toe. Within seconds he was completely buried under the purple hair…and then it started to squish down. Pushing from both top and bottom, the hair started to converge at a single point, thinner and thinner. And all the while, Vanessa observed with glee.

When Joy next exposed her captor, Agent was gone. In his place was a small disk, colored red and blue on the front. “Here we are!” Joy declared, waving the disk gently. “I call this game ‘Vaness-adventure’!”

“Delightful, darling!” Vanessa clapped; Joy started installing the disk inside a more modern game console than the one the witch used prior. “Now, I don’t suppose you could teach me the controls?”

“Oh, there’ll be time for that,” Joy explained. She handed Vanessa the controller for now. “The best part is the character creator anyway.”

…

Agent’s sense of awareness had shut down entirely shortly before being squished into a CD. It would be difficult to describe what had occurred to him, even for trained specialists in transformation. The closest approximation would be a simultaneous physical alteration and mental digitization, with Agent’s personality and memories installed on the disk as data. A copy of the authentic article.

When the game console booted up and Agent was placed inside, the disk began to spin, and he started to “wake up” once more. It was strange; he was standing in a void, and yet he felt nothing. No fatigue, no pain, no sensations of the physical variety.

But he did feel fear. And a lot of anxiety, as would be normal whenever Vanessa was involved.

In front of him was a layer of glass, it seemed, exposing the outside world. A colossal Vanessa and Joy were outside of this layer, observing Agent’s digital prison…but in truth, they were regular size. It was he that had shrunk.

“Uh, girls?” Agent hesitantly said. “Alright, fun’s over, can you let me out?”

“But we’re just getting started,” Joy explained. She was showing Vanessa how to use the controller now. “Alright, so you press this button to toggle the sliders…”

There was a click. Agent barely dodged the sudden appearance of a menu, filled with sliders of all kinds, plus some check boxes. A full character editor. He paled.

“Okay, let’s not be rash…” he pled.

“You just scroll around, selecting the options to your favorite choices,” Joy said. “How big, how small, reshape him to your design.”

“Ah, there’s even a setting for gender?” Vanessa remarked with amusement. “I’d certainly prefer the female option over the male one.” She moved the stick, highlighting the option and wasting no time in switching it over.

Agent gasped suddenly, and he blinked. When Agent next opened his eyes, he was no longer a “he”—now formed into a feminine version of themselves. She inspected herself all over, noting just how instantaneous this was, and just how good this felt.

“I’ll unpack all this later,” she remarked. “Vanessa, okay, you had your experiment, can you let me out yet? Please?”

“Up next is your starting race,” Joy explained, tuning out Agent’s protests. “See, you can choose all sorts of fantasy forms. From an orc, an elf, a goblin, or a boring human.”

“Darling, you and I are on the same page here, I see,” Vanessa laughed. That left a difficult choice for her, as all three were very tempting to experiment with. Given the ability to do so, she would choose all three, but she simply had to try one above all.

She selected the goblin option.

“Bwuh?” Agent asked, feeling a strange sensation across her entire body. Then, she felt herself rapidly shrinking down several feet, toppling over from the changes. Her skin turned green, and her ears elongated and became pointed. Her proportions seemed slightly off, but in a way where her head was the biggest part of her. In all manners of design, she was a short-stack goblin.

“Makes for a good rogue, I say,” Vanessa offered, selecting her starting class. “Good for beating people up while small.”

Agent couldn’t help but pout. “Couldn’t even give me the cool ones…” she grumbled over her new class. The rogue’s robe now covered her tiny body, and she held a dagger. She much preferred a melee build.

“Ooh, a feisty personality to boot, I see,” Vanessa teased. “Let’s change that.”

Then she turned towards Joy. “CAN we change that?”

“That’s what your starting stats are for,” Joy cheerfully offered. “See, you can select whether to put your points into strength or intelligence, but not both.”

Agent suddenly looked up at this one. “You wouldn’t,” she dared.

“A pity we can’t do both,” Vanessa teasingly shrugged. But she cautiously started moving the stats from the intelligence slider to the strength slider.

It was like Agent’s skull was being pumped from within, her head aching and pounding with the very real sensation that she was losing…something. She couldn’t think of the word anymore, how to explain her thinky-thoughts. What…what was she angry about anyway? Why glass wall block witch and bunny?

Agent couldn’t exactly comprehend what had occurred, but Joy and Vanessa were party to the rapid changes, watching the intelligent human become a strength-focused goblin, her mind in her pecs and her thoughts on taking shiny things. She mostly stood around, impatiently waiting for something she could rob.

“Flawless,” Vanessa declared. “Alright, just need to name her and we’ll set her loose.”

“How about something cool and awesome to match her strength?” Joy suggested. “Like Skull-Crusher, or Blood-Dagger?”

Seconds later, Susan the rogue goblin was fully prepared. (“That works too,” Joy shrugged.) It was only a matter of sending her out into the open world.

Susan, meanwhile, suddenly found herself in the wilderness of some strange land. Full of trees and rocks, with a nearby village, perfect for looting. But she had no control over her body, at least not her own control. Without her consent, she started running around, in an odd pattern and sometimes in circles, then started jumping over and over again.

Vanessa was merely pressing buttons and testing the controls, especially taking to the jump button to get around. “So is there a goal to this?” she asked. “Point A to Point B? That sort of thing?”

“That’s the beauty of it,” Joy explained. “There’s no preset goal. No rules. You do whatever you want, whenever you want to. If you even wanted to smooch some of the in-game love interests, you can do that too. I know I’ve done that myself.”

“You’re speaking my language,” Vanessa laughed. She inspected her Susan, pondering in thought. “So how long is this game?” It would answer how long she should keep Agent in that role.

“Well, these sorts of games have a ton to do,” Joy considered. “I’d say about eighty to a hundred hours of continuous playtime? Give or take replayability.”

Vanessa smirked. “I can live with that.”

She continued having Susan jump around and run in the open playground she found herself within. She would be engaging with every citizen in this game world, and there were a LOT of things she wanted to do with her. Agent was right, Vanessa noted; video games could be fun after all.

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