Into the Vanessaverse

Vanessa got her best ideas from cartoons, typically. Being an Eldritch witch with surprisingly plebian tastes would do that, and even she would take inspiration from the minds of mortals. Of course, she did have to take creative liberties to enact some antics, but she always enjoyed replicating them to the best of her abilities.

Also she thought a lot of the female cartoon characters were sexually attractive. At least compared to her perennial ward Agent, who was far too meek and asexual to provide her with the fun she craved. Still, with a few adjustments, he could serve to be the perfect playmate for a general audience of herself.

One day, she had come home from a routine shopping trip with exactly one box. Agent was playing a video game on the main television, barely glancing up at the witch.

“Oh hey,” he greeted, idly, fully in the zone. “What did you get?”

“Forbidden Arts had this wonderful device,” Vanessa explained, holding the box delicately. “Some sort of reality remote.”

Agent paused his game, turning his head to look directly at Vanessa. “Is this one of those times where you bought a new toy or found a new spell that you’ll test on me and make me into your little project that you will eventually make out with?” he asked.

“Yes,” Vanessa agreed.

Agent sighed. “Curse my genre savviness…” he muttered. He saved his game’s progress, then turned it off. “Alright, what does it do?”

“Bam,” Vanessa said, ripping open the box with her nails. She tore through the cardboard, past the packing styrofoam, and dumped all but the main contents onto the ground. “Behold, the Broadcaster.”

Agent, however, was gesturing at the packing foam that Vanessa carelessly tossed—and that he would have to clean. “Come on…”

“Focus, darling,” Vanessa said, smirking. “Blaire explained this to me in no uncertain terms. I can make you develop traits one at a time, or all at once. Enough power, and I can put you into the cartoon itself.”

“Okay,” Agent said, resigned. “And you can’t do this yourself?”

“Oh, I can,” Vanessa dismissed. “But it’s so boring being all-powerful all the time. Besides, I like supporting my darling Blaire.” She chuckled lightly

“That’s reasonable.”

“Now it’s just a matter of who to select,” Vanessa said. She started inspecting the buttons, gathering a vague feel for how this modern gadget worked. It resembled an older television remote, only with some unique buttons such as “warp” and “mentality” included. “So many options…That bat with the boobs and the gem fetish? The tiny mouse inventor? Perhaps the animatronic wolf? Hmm, perhaps later…”

“Can we speed this up?” Agent asked. Even the typical victim was getting bored. “I’d at least like to make something later.”

Vanessa gave a small scowl. “Fine, mister impatient,” she said, choosing an option at random. “Then we’ll make it so even I don’t know what you’ll be.”

She twisted around, her thumb dancing over the buttons with ease, jolting Agent with a light zap. He tingled briefly, especially along the ears…which, curiously enough, were no longer on the side of his head.

“What happened?” he asked Vanessa, uncertain.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Vanessa teased. “I thought you were IMPATIENT.”

“This isn’t funny,” Agent protested, clutching his head. Definitely no ears along the side, but…He lifted his fingers up, curious. The digits brushed up against something clearly attached to his body. So soft, so round…so furry.

Vanessa, deciding to grant some leniency, handed Agent a pocket mirror, which he quickly lifted upwards to inspect himself. His face was exactly as it was, with the exception of the ears still. Finally, he could see what they looked like, and he was shocked to see them not only resting atop his head, nestled amongst his hair, but with a coloration like fur. No, not even fur at that—it was more like looking at a cel-shaded image. He gaped in surprise.

“You see?” Vanessa laughed lightly. “It really does bring cartoons to life. In more ways than one.”

“It’s definitely new…” Agent said. He was still feeling his ears, and how round they were. “Okay, we had our fun, now can we—”

Another zap, another tingle, this time nestled against his lower spine. A new limb was growing, a thick and curly tail to compliment the new ears. Same fur color, same celll-shaded coloration down below, although it did have a lighter brown as a balance. Agent clutched his new tail, feeling how soft it was.

“Alright, I get it,” he said, nodding. “I get it. This is a squirrel’s tail.” So it was. This would severely limit the possibilities of who he was becoming, then. Although even from this vague evidence, he could still hazard a guess.

“This little device is fascinating,” Vanessa declared. “Not to mention fun. Now then…” Her finger hovered over another button, this one labeled “voice”. “If we press this one…”

She gave the remote another tweak, and Agent suddenly started coughing a little. Normally at first, but then lighter, more feminine. He shot a glare at Vanessa.

“Now what’d ya’ll do that for?” he demanded. His eyes widened, as he clutched his throat. “M-my voice…And ya’ll gave me an accent?”

“You described such a thing as a ‘Southern’ accent,” Vanessa muses. “It’s adorable.”

“Would ya’ll just cut this out already?” Agent asked, more irritated than full-blown angry. “Pete’s sake, yall’re makin’ me into Sandy Cheeks an’—”

“So that’s her name?” Vanessa said; she leaned forward, grinning with mischief and growing desire. “Sounds pretty hot. And I’m definitely not one to leave a job half-done.”

“Now hold your horses, varmint—” Agent tried to protest, but Vanessa started pressing button after button in between his speech. Piece by piece, the once human was becoming far less, each zap causing him to become a toon squirrel more and more. Additional buck teeth along his mouth. Larger paws for feet, bursting theugh his shoes. Similar larger hands. His clothing was ripping apart with each zap, the line between reality and fantasy increasingly blurring.

“Oh, this is so delightful!” Vanessa eagerly said, admiring her current progress: an Agent that was well past the halfway point, with only the rest of his head and his torso region needing a toon-up. “You’ll look wonderful when you’re done, my darling Sandy.”

She laughed, remote still in hand. Something had sparked in Agent’s head, an idea. Without thinking any more, he suddenly reared back his foot, and kicked with a quick strike and a loud “Hi-YAAAH!” His foot collided with the remote, sending it flying into the air, and a shocked Vanessa started clutching her hand. The remote, meanwhile, sailed in an arc, before Agent suddenly caught it in midair, landing from his dive with grace and precision.

“And that’s why you don’t mess with Texas!” he declared. Then he paused. “I’ve…never actually been to Texas.”

Vanessa was still nursing her hand. “A bit excessive, don’t you think?”

Agent briefly paused his gloating to look worried. “I didn’t actually hurt ya’ll, did I?” he asked, sincerely.

“No, no, just a bit of plastic burn,” Vanessa waved off. “Had too much of a grip, my fault. Good kick, by the way.”

“Ya’ll sure?”

“I’m sure, I’ll ice it later,” Vanessa nodded. “Alright, back to the script. They’re watching us.”

“Okay, um…” Agent, mentally disarmed, tried getting back on track. “Now I got this doohickey! Maybe ya’ll learn ta stop messin’ around with me!”

He had pointed the remote towards Vanessa, who otherwise seemed disinterested. “Oh, I bet I will,” she snarked. “Go ahead then, hit me.”

“With pleasure!” Agent said. He tapped a button on the remote, and a tingling sensation occurred. But it wasn’t on Vanessa; rather, it was Agent who had felt his face start to warp and reshape itself, cheeks puffing out, fur growing, his eyes properly adjusting themselves to provide better eyesight without glasses. A small triangle nose formed, rounding off the new facial features.

Heavily confused now, Agent—or Sandy, at this time—hurriedly clutched at his, or her, new face. “B-but what gives?” she asked, looking at the remote. “I pointed this at you!”

“Ah, yes, I suppose it does tend to focus on one candidate at a time,” Vanessa said, amused by this turnabout. She held out her hand, fingers extended. A defeated Sandy lowered her head, placing the remote back into the witch’s hands in resignation.

“Thank you,” Vanessa said, giving one additional button press to round it off. The remaining human chest quickly rounded into a cartoon one, matching the rest of the squirrel body. Where breasts should be were two seashells in a bra, and the lower waist region had a grass skirt. Not that Vanessa would have cared, clothes or not; toons didn’t have typical anatomy, after all, least of all reproductive anatomy.

“So ya’ll had your fun,” Sandy said, fatigued. “What now?”

“Hmm…” Vanessa tapped her chin in curiosity. “You know, this is good and all, but…I think it’s missing something.” She tweaked the remote a little, giving another click. “A little extra to be nice.”

There was a brief tingling amongst Sandy’s head, before a sudden burst of hair grew out in seconds. Thick, luxurious, and fully condensed into a soft and sexy afro. Sandy patted the new addition in bafflement, a small smile on her face.

“Well…this’ll be pretty neat, I reckon,” she admitted. “Something different.”

“And it’s adorable on you,” Vanessa squeed briefly, patting Sandy’s poofy afro with aplomb. “So soft, and so big…”

“Well, ya’ll know what they say,” Sandy chuckled. “Everything’s bigger in Texas.”

Sandy immediately clamped her hands over her mouth, eyes widened. Too late; Vanessa heard the comment, a grin on her face, her ideas forming.

“No,” Sandy insisted. “Come on, Vanessa, I’m already feelin’ weirder than a fish wearin’ a tutu. And I’m makin’ more analogies than an English professor takin’ the SATs. Can’t we call it a day?”

“Big in Texas?” Vanessa asked, ignoring Sandy’s monologue and replacing it with her own. “Almost, darling, almost.”

There were a set of buttons she hadn’t experimented with yet, those labeled “volume”. One arrow pointing up, the other pointing down. If her theory was correct…

She quickly pressed the ‘up’ arrow, watching with satisfaction and glee as Sandy quivered slightly, then swelled up to a larger size. It all happened so quickly, Sandy could only barely comprehend that she was a head taller than the witch.

“Would ya’ll just cut it out?” Sandy pleaded, growing more irritated now. “I was fine a second ago.”

“We’re so close to perfection, darling,” Vanessa insisted, pressing the button again. And again. Each time, Sandy grew larger and larger, proportionally developing. She found she had to bend to keep from hitting the ceiling. Then she had to kneel. She was practically as big as the room itself, a fact she bitterly recognized, as she glared at Vanessa.

“Wonderful!” Vanessa declared, finally content. “Simply wonderful. You make such a cute giant squirrel, I must say. So much to hold and to kiss.”

“Yeah, come over an’ I’ll kiss ya, alright…” Sandy grumbled. Vanessa, however, tutted.

“With that attitude?” she said. “Nonsense. Perhaps an adjustment to your mind is in order?” She dangled her finger over the button labeled “sync” that would assuredly do what she hoped.

“Ya’ll wouldn’t dare,” Sandy insisted. Almost pleading.

“Boop,” Vanessa said out loud, pressing the button.

There was an uncomfortable length of silence, with both the witch and the giant squirrel staring at each other. Then Vanessa pressed the button again, and again, and again. Sandy’s mentality remained the same, as did her glare.

“Come on, you useless…” Vanessa was the one grumbling now, as she slapped the remote on the back. “You were just working a second ago…”

“Battery problems, ya little critter?” Sandy asked. Venom was in her voice now, which Vanessa picked up on. Looking up, she could see the glare only intensify, and even the witch felt uncomfortable.

“Ah, well…” she said, nervous. “Seems I did wear out the batteries, darling. So no mental changes this time.”

“Yeah, but ya’ll tried,” Sandy said, icily. Vanessa quietly chuckled.

“Until I get new batteries, I’m afraid you’re kinda…stuck like that,” she added. “As a giant squirrel.”

Sandy started growling, her temper flaring. Vanessa started backing up, remote in hand.

“If you’ll excuse me…” she said. “I, uh…I’ll go shopping for a new one. For several hours. Cheers, darling!”

She rushed out of the room before Sandy’s giant paw could snatch her away. The squirrel’s fury had finally boiled over.

“Come back here and fix this, ya varmint!” she shouted. “Yer a witch, dagnabbit, you can shrink me by yerself!”

When Vanessa did not immediately return, and it was clear that she was out of Sandy’s reach, she merely pouted. Her arms crossed in front of her chest, her feet bent awkwardly in the room. She sighed.

“Well…“ she said. “Gives me time for thinkin’…Pity I can’t just invent somethin’ for myself like this.”

Perhaps, she thought, some things in Texas were too big. Even for chaos witches.

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