Into the Vanessaverse

Agent curled up in a recliner in the library’s corner, reading a book quietly. Those brief moments when he could act on his own, uninterrupted by mischief and chaos from a certain witch, were precious to him. Being able to simply rest and enjoy someone else’s narrative for a brief while was more than a reward for his patience and his hard work.

For about five minutes, anyway.

The moment Vanessa glided in, smirk on her face and a sway to her movements, Agent merely sighed and put a bookmark between his current pages. Reading time was over, he knew.

“Agent,” Vanessa said, still grinning. “How would you like to be Lola Bunny?”

Agent paused his movements to blink in confusion. “Just like that?” he asked. “No foreplay, no teasing? Just a blunt question?”

“Yeah,” Vanessa shrugged. “Look, darling, we both know which direction this sort of thing goes. You can struggle and protest, but we both know who the dominant one is in this manor, hmm?”

“I…can’t argue with that,” Agent admitted. He was still fully disarmed by the sheer brass Vanessa was displaying in her methods. Walk up to the victim, tell him exactly what’s going to happen, and then do it. She was usually more subtle than that. “And why Lola exactly?”

“We were due,” Vanessa shrugged once more. “I’ve got a list. She’s on it, Krystal’s on it, I’m expecting to turn you into Judy Hopps before Q4 of this year…”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Agent said. He stood up, spreading his arms away from himself, defenseless. “Go ahead, do it. Just turn me back today.”

“About that…” Vanessa said with a wry smile. Nevertheless, she did raise her hands, magic crackling from her palms to her fingers. They glowed with energy, building up, condensing…until it shot forward, slamming into Agent directly.

The changes were swift and immediate, his body warping and changing with every passing second. His bare skin rapidly grew blonde fur, coating every square inch from their chest outward. His hips curved, swelling around the rear while retaining a slim stomach. His shoes burst open, revealing a pair of floppy paws, thick and powerful, the way a proper bunny should.

As the changes progressed, a second layer of change started to wash over him, a delayed reaction. The initial fur he developed started to take on a less realistic form, merging directly to his body. The colors turned ever more vibrant and toony, like a cel-shaded image. It felt…curious. Stretchy. Did Agent even have bones anymore? He could scarcely say himself.

The changes started moving from the lower body to the upper half, taking a brief moment to add a soft bunny tail just above his rear—and to coat over what remained of his manhood with a toon’s own package of absolutely nothing. The rest of his chest started to swell up, two mounds growing and stretching his clothing. He…or rather, she now, gave a small moan at the feeling, the changes. Despite her bellyaching, despite all her protests on the matter, Vanessa’s transformative changes always did feel enrapturing.

The hands were next. Much like how her feet turned from five tiny toes to three larger ones as part of the footpaws, Agent’s hands started to warp as well. Her pinky and ring fingers pressed together, melting into themselves to turn five into four. All the while, her digits were swelling up, growing outlandishly large for a human but perfectly sized for a cartoon. The hands then felt odd, as though something was tugging them outward; a pair of white gloves started forming from the exposed skin, the last remaining human skin below the neckline turning into gloves. Now this, Agent thought, was curious. They were clearly a part of her body, and they could flex like normal. But they also felt like separate entities in their own right. Clothing that was physically attached to them…How odd.

Agent did not get much of a chance to contemplate this implication, as the changes reached their apex with her head. She could feel the fur seeping across her face, coating it in blonde color. Her mouth and nose pushed forward, the nostrils flattening and twisting into a tiny pink triangle just above the mouth, complimenting the new muzzle. Her top front teeth grew, squaring out perfectly into a pair of buck teeth, fitting for a rabbit. Her cheeks swelled, tufts of painted fur poking out to add more to her profile. Her ears stretched above her head, growing and lengthening into a proper set of bunny ears.

But there was something else beyond all the physical changes. Agent—now for all intents and purposes Lola—could feel a new surge of…well, something within. A sense of power? Of flexibility? It was so difficult to describe.

And yet, she felt good. She felt really good, even.

Perhaps even a little Looney.

“Magnificent,” Vanessa cheered at her work, admiring the now fully-transformed Lola Bunny in front of her. “I always outdo myself every day.”

“Yeah, you’re a genius,” Lola dryly said. “So when am I turning back again?”

“Oh, darling, we’ll be pushing that aside for a while,” Vanessa brushed off. “Who’s keeping track of time, anyway?”

She knew it. Lola knew full well that Vanessa wouldn’t be letting her off the hook so easily. Not when there were experiments to be had and makeout sessions to be performed. Frankly, she was tired of living life on the witch’s schedule. But with this newfound energy within, perhaps she could turn the tables.

Lola gave a seductive smile. “Yes, who’s keeping track?” she said. “Now, why not we see how long we can keep kissing?”

“Finally, a good idea,” Vanessa couldn’t help but grin at the thought. “Now pucker up…”

Lola made a kissy-face at Vanessa, leaning in for the fireworks. Vanessa, in turn, closed her eyes, leaning forward herself to connect. Her lips locked, she could feel how gentle her target was. So strong and hard and…smooth and…shiny?

She opened her eyes to inspect what she was kissing, and then they widened ever more. In front of her, attached to her lips, was a round black or. On the top was a small protrusion with a wick. At the wick’s tip was a fire that was dwindling down rapidly. There was no question what this was.

“GAH!” Vanessa gasped out, quickly launching the cartoon bomb away from herself, into the corner of the library, where it exploded harmlessly with non-lethal smoke and shrapnel. She looked to Lola, casually posing, with Vanessa wide-eyed and panicked.

“What, you thought it’d be that easy to get a kiss?” Lola said. She pulled out another toon bomb, then proceeded to spin it on her finger like a basketball. “Oh no, doll. You’ve gotta work for it.”

“But I—You—” Vanessa sputtered. This was not going to plan. “How did you—”

“Gotta catch me first!” Lola called out. She ran off deeper into the manor so quickly that she left a visible trail of smoke in the exact shape of herself. This smoke then sped off on its own, just like it’s owner.

Vanessa took a moment to compose herself, thinking about what just happened. “You did too good a job again, darling…” she said to herself. “The toon mindset and power set…The reality warping…”

Toons were naturally good at bending reality’s laws, much like Vanessa. The difference was that toons didn’t have restraint or limits. And putting them inside a mansion unanchored to physics in the first place! Left unchecked, Lola would be unstoppable.

She had to undo her mistake.

Or at least get that kiss she was owed.

Vanessa dashed off after Lola, trying to keep an eye out for any further pranks on the way. Nothing jumped at her immediately, no unusual quirks to the manor. She thought she heard a noise down a hallway, proven right when a door swung open loudly.

“Yoo-hoo~” Lola called, the tilde somehow audible. She waved a handkerchief teasingly, calling Vanessa closer. When the witch approached, the door slammed shut.

Vanessa sighed. Typical, a toon taking advantage of the infinite hallway. To the left and right of her were doors as far as the eye could see, and beyond that. No doubt the moment she opened the door, Lola would be in another one.

She tore open the door to be proven right, viewing an empty void. Down the hall, another door creaked open, a giggle heard as Lola coyly peeked her head out.

“Over here!” she called, again shutting it before Vanessa could make it. Again the door was wrenched open. Again she was met with nothing.

When the third door opened, this one directly behind her, Vanessa immediately swung around to dash for it directly. She scarcely was able to react to what came out of the door, a full-sized speeding locomotive that barreled through the doorframe with ease.

Vanessa couldn’t call it in alarm as the train slammed into her at full force, knocking the witch through the wall and onto the ground. The full train, all nineteen carriages of it, ran over the witch, flattening her completely. She only could briefly appreciate her unnatural abilities keeping from any harm when a push cart wheeled across her as well, keeping her pinned.

“Hmm the 3:15 to Albequerque’s running a bit early,” Lola remarked. She peeked her head under the cart, observing the flattened Vanessa idly. Lola now sported a conductor’s outfit, complete with holding an old-timey pocket watch. “Guess I should reel it back a bit…”

“No!” Vanessa demanded, peeling herself off of the ground. Her flattened shape could scarcely stand upright, at least until she stuck her thumb into her mouth. She began blowing into it, air condensing and forcing pressure into her body, turning it from 2D to 3D.

Vanessa was incensed, glaring at Lola, who was sporting a pleasant smile, humming to herself. She made no movement at Vanessa approached, slowly, arms reached out. Then Vanessa dived, and Lola leapt out of the way, causing the witch to fall to the ground with empty hands.

Lola then made some sort of puttering sound, feet fluttering off the ground briefly in a defiance of gravity. “Meep-meep!” she called, before rushing off again.

“Not even the right toon for that!” Vanessa indignantly protested. Still, she thought, she had to admit that Lola was taking to this “toon” business quicker than she thought. Such impressive displays, even.

This was getting too out of control.

Lola’s trail was easier to follow this time, partially because she never actually opened any other doors, instead running directly through them—identifiable by a Lola-shaped hole in each door in the infinite hallway. Eventually the trail led back to the central part of the manor, towards the more finite hallway, with just the one door on the left.

With a smirk, Vanessa twisted the door handle, thrusting it forward, only to see Lola standing on the other side. The toon made another costume change, this time like a door-to-door saleswoman, complete with glasses and a clipboard.

“Well, good evening, miss,” Lola gave a wide smile. “Is your mother home?”

“I—” Vanessa blushed a little despite herself. The disguise was blatantly obvious, she knew, and this was an attempt at buttering her up. Yet despite all of that, she couldn’t help but listen. “What is this about?”

“I’m here on behalf of ACME products to present an astounding new invention!” Lola explained. She pulled a briefcase out of nowhere, opening it carefully. Then she rifled through some of the belongings inside, tossing papers, pens, several kitchen appliances and a mattress out of the way, much to Vanessa’s astonishment.

“Ah, here it is,” Lola declared. She pulled out a single cigar with Lola’s own face on it. “Ever try and find a lighter but can’t? This self-igniting cigar will be sure to light up your life!”

“That sounds…fascinating,” Vanessa said, despite herself. “But I just need you to hold still and—”

“Free sample?” Lola interrupted, casually sticking the cigar into Vanessa’s mouth. The witch felt it between her teeth, the paper possessing a woody taste. Never mind what the tobacco felt like. “And now with a snap of your fingers—”

Lola snapped her fingers, and the cigar ignited. Significantly.

Once the smoke settled, Vanessa was visible with a deer-in-headlights expression, her hair blown backwards from the force, soot coating her face. All the while Lola tutted and shook her head.

“Don’t you know that smoking’s bad for you?” she asked, before she darted off again, scattering the disguise on the floor.

By then, Vanessa’s temper was really flaring up. This was going too far, and the rabbit was getting out of hand. She was running the full gamut of toon trickery, so much that it was overwhelming even an all-powerful chaos witch. If she didn’t stop her soon…

Vanessa stomped to the nearest door, simply thrusting it open without a word. A kitchen was on the other side, and not her usual gothic home design, but a brightly-lit one with video cameras stationed nearby. When she walked inside, she could hear the sound of applause, a full studio audience. When she looked out into the stands, she could see nothing but a crowd of differently dressed Lola Bunnies cheering and hollering. Could one of them be her target? None of them?

“And welcome back to Oven Bunny, the world’s number one rated fake cooking show,” Lola introduced, stepping into view of the cameras. This time she sported a chef’s outfit, complete with a poofy hat that hid her ears. “As always, I’m your host, Lola. Today, I’m aided by our special guest, our co-chef, Vanessa, as we make a perfect carrot cake!”

More cheers, this time for Vanessa herself. A spotlight shone on her, and all the attention made Vanessa blush. She couldn’t help but preen a little, as Lola stuffed a remote to her face.

“So tell me, how are you feeling?” Lola asked.

“Overwhelmed,” Vanessa said, earning some laughs from the audience.

“Understandable,” Lola said, leading herself and the witch to their cooking station. “But that’s what this show’s about! Anyone can make a delicious meal, and all you need are the proper ingredients!”

The love of attention wore off for Vanessa’s psyche, and her thoughts collected themselves. She was trying to do one simple task, to nab the bunny, and she was so close.

She dived at Lola, just as the toon idly moved a metal bowl towards her direction. Vanessa slammed into the metal, her entire body somehow stuffing itself into the empty space, just below the rim. It was such a tight squeeze, enough that she couldn’t wedge herself out of it.

“First you need a good batter,” Lola explained, pulling out a mixer. “So grab your materials, usually flour and sugar, mix them together like so…”

She stuck the mixer into the bowl, starting it up. Vanessa’s body was swiftly churned around at a rapid pace, her unnatural form breaking down with every dice of the blades. Her clothing shredded, her body intermingling with itself.

“Be sure to toss some carrot-flavored seasoning,” Lola explained, sprinkling in exactly that. “I recommend ACME brand, available in stores or deliverable by catapult.”

She set the mixer down, pulling out a round cake pan. Then she started to pour the bowl’s contents into the pan. Vanessa, by then a gloopy pastiche of herself, could do naught but drip inside, a perfect fit for the pan, a perfect blend of purple and black and white, with some orange inside for flavor.

“Then all you have to do is put it in a conventional oven at three-hundred and fifty degrees Fahrenheit,” Lola explained, opening the oven and sliding the pan inside. “At least that amount. If you put it higher, it’ll cook faster. For the sake of our show, let’s do ten-thousand.”

She dialed the temperature past “350”, past “500”, past “earth’s core”, until the crank stopped. Then she closed the door, waited two seconds for the flames to subside, and opened the door.

“Once it’s ready, be sure to wear protective mits as you pull it out,” Lola put a glove over her glove, then reached into the oven to grip the pan. She set it down gently, the metal starting to melt the marble counter from touch alone, as she prepared a tray.

“Finally, tip your pan over and set it on any food tray for carrying,” Lola said. She tipped the pan, allowing Vanessa to slide out. The intense battering followed by a swift heat led to the witch being literally baked, her skin soft and plush and fragile. She landed on the plate with a light thud, her vision restored but her mobility limited.

“Add some icing if you want,” Lola suggested. “But at this point, it’s ready to eat! And you know me, I always love to sample my own work!”

Cautiously, the bunny pulled out a single fork and knife, examining the increasingly-worried witch-cake. Lola motioned briefly, miming her cutting pattern…before simply pushing the fork into the surface, hoisting up the entire cake, and stuffed the entire pastry into her mouth, swallowing it while.

Vanessa could hear the audience cheering through Lola’s insides, even if faintly. She squeezed through the esophagus in record time, toon physics necessitating a comical reaction time for food to visibly land in their stomach. She was so big that she made Lola’s stomach bulge from the sheer volume.

“My compliments to the chef,” Lola joked, before burping. The audience gave a laugh, followed by another cheer for the show.

…

It took some time, but eventually Vanessa was…deposited in her restroom. Restored to her usual self, she clawed her way out of her own toilet, dragging herself out and falling to the floor in sheer exhaustion. As fun and terrifying as the experience was, she had quite enough.

With effort she pushed the bathroom door open, crawling across the ground to the next room. Lola was casually reading a book, only taking notice of Vanessa’s presence when she nudged her paws. Idly, Lola lifted a carrot.

“Nyeeeeh…” she said, taking a bite out of the carrot. “What’s up, doll?”

“You win,” Vanessa gasped out, still face-down on the floor. “I went overboard on the transformations lately, I guess…”

“Oh, sorry,” Lola said, patting her ear. “These things are so thick sometimes. What was that?”

“I said you win,” Vanessa said louder, barely lifting up her head. Her eyes had black rings underneath, stress adorned her face. Her hair a mess, her clothing in pieces. No visible harm was done to herself—toon slapstick and violence necessitated receiving no lasting injuries. The psychological effects, however, were stronger. “I’m sorry. I’ll give you a break, Agent.”

Lola stared down at the completely fatigued witch for a long while. Eventually, she gave a gentle smile. “Glad I got the point across,” she said. “Chaos is fine in moderation, right? And you can only take so much chaos yourself in one sitting.”

She leaned in, giving Vanessa a smooch on the cheek. Vanessa blushed lightly as Lola crooned at the sight.

“Now, until this wears off, I’ll be reading, okay?” Lola explained, sitting back down and resuming her book. “Unless you have something else in mind.”

Vanessa paused, uncertain. Mischief was out for the day; she’d had her fill. Perhaps something quieter would be beneficial.

“Mind if I read with you?” she asked.

Without a word, Lola scooted to one side of her seat, gently patting the other side. A clear invitation. Vanessa slowly got up, conjuring one of her own books, and took a seat next to the toon bunny, their bodies squishing together in the tight quarters. They didn’t mind, though. The company was worth it.

Sometimes, Vanessa thought. Sometimes it might just be better to unwind a little.

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